Marriage and children

Marriage - According to wikipedia, the definition is as follows:

"Marriage is a social, spiritual, or legal union of individuals. This union may also be called matrimony, while the ceremony that marks its beginning is usually called a wedding and the married status created is sometimes called wedlock."

It is not just a matter of 2 individuals but 2 families which are definitely different in their ways of doing things. It is not easy to bring 2 families with differences together and hope to be one for the next 20, 30 years or more.

"Marriage is an institution in which interpersonal relationships (usually intimate and sexual) are acknowledged by the state, by religious authority, or by both. It is often viewed as a contract. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution, in accordance with marriage laws of the jurisdiction. If recognized by the state, by the religion(s) to which the parties belong or by society in general, the act of marriage changes the personal and social status of the individuals who enter into it."

"People marry for many reasons, but usually one or more of the following: legal, social, and economic stability; the formation of a family unit; procreation and the education and nurturing of children; legitimizing sexual relations; to fulfil religious obligations; public declaration of love; or to obtain citizenship."

In a chinese family, we usually stay with parents, some may move out if they afford to buy house. If we stay with parents, some families may have problems in communication with the in-laws (husband's parents), especially when they have children.

"Respect" is a key word in order to communicate well with the in-laws. We need to earn the respect by respecting others. We need to be polite to them - sometimes it may be difficult for some people as this depends on the upbringing of the respective families.

Our parents are not asking for much. They just hope that we, their children, live happily and stay healthy. They hope that we, as children, respect them, greet them, ask them if they have taken their lunch or dinner, etc. I think this is not a difficult task but not all people can do it.

Children

I have 2 daughters, En Shan (39 months) and En Ting (16 months). They are adorable and smart.

En Shan is now attending "school"- everyday from 7:30 am to 11:30 am. I am lucky to have my parents to go to pick her up. She is a smart girl and she likes to talk. She speaks mandarin at home. Now, she learns how to speak English from the school and she is able to understand little bit of Hakka and Hokkien but she does not know how to speak the 2 dialects.

However, she likes to cry when she is unhappy, angry, etc. We need to console her. When her mum "offended" her, she will cry for at least 10 minutes. I will be the one to help to calm her down, talk nicely to her so that she can stop crying.

To me, we need to understand what the children wants. If we understand and try to fulfil their wishes (with limits, of course), they can be managed.

To bring up a child, it is a difficult task. We understand how difficult it was for our parents to bring us up when we ourselves have children.

En Ting, my second daughter, starts to learn how to speak, very adorable and likes to smile but her temper is also not good as her sister.

We are lucky to have a nanny who is really helpful to take care of my 2 daughters from Monday to Friday (until 6 pm) and Saturday (until 2 pm).